Getting Your First Tattoo

STEP SEVEN I'll get into tattoo parlor etiquette in another hub, but suffice it to say that even if you're getting work done by a 300-lb. man named Snake, standard rules of courtesy still apply. DO NOT try to bargain with the price quote, DO NOT brag or make offhand remarks like "My friend so-and-so said his tattoo only cost $75, and it's even smaller than mine is going to be!" Be polite--tattoo prices are not up for discussion. It's okay to be nervous, but try to keep your emotions in check. I'll never forget the embarassment I felt years ago while taking an acquaintence to get her first ink. She screamed out a horrid rendition of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to help her deal with the pain, then fell off the chair and crawled her way into the restroom when she thought she was going to vomit. If you get hit with a sudden wave of nausea and feel as though you might be sick, don't just jump out of the chair and sprint for the nearest bathroom as this can destroy the precise handiwork of your tattoo. Simply announce to the artist that you feel sick, he'll stop and you can head for the toilet. Finally, DO NOT enter the parlor drunk or under the influence of mind-altering substances. First of all, the artist has the right to refuse to work on you if he sees you are under the influence and secondly, you'll make a fool out of yourself. Stay as still as possible and try to relax. Focusing on something other than the pain helps (look at the artwork on the walls or a magazine in your hands.) Take deep breaths in and out and eventually your endorphins should kick in and the pain will be tolerable. At the end, thank him for his time and hand over his tip. Yes, tattoo artists get tips. Ten to twenty percent is usually a good amount. For example, I typically leave a maximum of $20 on a $100 tattoo.

STEP EIGHT It is common procedure for the artist to explain to you how to care for your new body modification, and most places will supply you with a print-out detailing proper aftercare techniques. If they do not do so, ask for a quick primer in what to do once you get home. When all is said and done, your new ink will be bandaged up with saran wrap and possibly a little bloody, but when you remove the treatment later that evening to wash it and apply the A&D cream, you'll be happy to find a crisp, fresh and hopefully beautifully completed work of art.